Beauty is Harsh
by SamLeTacoGoddess
Summary: A Wessa HC, I have yet to read CP2 so it's kinda out of place to those who have, I guess.


In the height of the night, Tessa Gray slipped out of her room and, closing the door behind her with a soft click, she proceeded to shuffle down the hall, not even pausing upon passing Jem's door. She held Will's copy of Vehtek in her hands, his poem repeating in her head as she walked under the dimmed witch light. After several minutes she had thought she had gotten lost, but soon enough, her fingertips came into contact with a new door. Her heart fluttered, almost as if it would take flight. She swung the door open.

She held her breath and scanned the bedroom that belonged to no other than William Herondale, both disappointed and relieved to find he was not present. Shakily, she went over to his bed and set the novel down on his pillow, checking to make sure that the note she had scrawled was not poking out from the pages. When it wasn't, she sighed and straightened herself up, unsure of everything she was doing.

"My, what do we have here?" A voice like velvet spoke behind her. Only one person could claim that voice, that voice which made her heart soar and which stopped her in her tracks.

"Mr. Herondale." Tessa reached for her angel subconsciously, suddenly aware that she had left Jem's necklace in her room.

He strode across the room till he was right behind her. His breath tickled her neck, resulting in a shiver that ran through both him and her. On the outside, Will was almost amused, but on the inside, his heart was beating so loudly he feared it would give him away. Tessa couldn't move a muscle, wouldn't dare so much as breathe.

Methodically, he removed her hair from her chignon, letting her brown hair fall past her shoulders in waves. He turned her around so she was facing him, her heart going wild from both his touch and his dreamlike blue eyes that hid beneath his thick dark lashes. His thumb caressed her cheek, treating her as if she were as delicate as paper. In truth, Will thought this wasn't much more than a dream. A painstakingly, unbelievably realistic dream.

"Tess," he swallowed hard as he pulled her close. His movements were weak, shaky, but she didn't fight against him. There was no point in it really.

"Listen Will—"

He cut her off, silenced her, with a quick kiss. It took her breath away. She had almost forgotten what it was like to be so close to him, to feel his lips against hers. It was like being brought to life again, being born anew. She knew it was wrong, that she shouldn't feel that way but—

"Tess, I don't want to know why you came down here, nor do I care. I just need one thing from you Tess, my dear, lovely Tess. Can you do that for me?" he pleaded a raw passion and kindness in his eyes that not even Tessa had seen before. She nodded slowly, her insides numb with longing and guilt, "Lie to me Tessa, tell me you love me, then kiss me like you've never kissed a man before."

His thumb receded from her cheek but she could still feel his lingering touch. Her cheeks flushed and she was grateful for the dimness of the room. "Will I couldn't possibly, to lie to you—"

"Please Tessa? For me?"

She cupped his face in her hands to catch his attention, and catch his attention she did. His eyes were trained on her as if memorizing every moment of this. "Will, I don't have to lie to you to tell you I love you."

Her voice was soft, gentle, but it still shocked him so greatly that he broke free from her. "But you said—"

"I know what I said. I had just hoped lying then would help you and well, it obviously hasn't."

He grabbed her and held her close with the same gentleness he had used at Benedict's. His eyes caught her gaze, refusing to drop it. Her heart skipped a beat, her stomach churned, she knew how wrong this all was but the way he held her, the way he looked at her was so intoxicating and infectious she couldn't bring herself wish for anything but him.

"Then tell me the truth then, tell me what you think of me," he whispered into her ear, his voice so full of pain and desire that it shattered her heart.

"I, Theresa Gray, love you, William Herondale, with all my heart. But that does not change the fact that we cannot be, for I ought to love James and James alone, and while I do love him, very much so, I cannot help but love you as well, Will."

Her later words didn't hinder him as he bent down and pressed his lips to hers. The touch was so familiar, yet so shockingly new. An energy ran through Tessa as she melted into his kiss. It lasted moments on end, but neither wanted it to stop. It tasted of the salt of his tears and gave them both a sense of foreboding. He was everywhere, responding to her touch in such a way that took even Will by surprise. When they separated they both struggled to catch their breath, their foreheads leaned against one another.

"Will, I really must go."

"No, don't. Stay with me?"

"And do what exactly?"

"Sleep with me."

She looked at him, her expression horrified, "Will!" she gasped.

He took her hands in his and placed them against his chest so she could feel the beating of his own heart as it responded to her, "Not like that." He paused to take a shaky breath, "I know it's wrong - God, it's all kinds of wrong - but I just want to lie down with you and wake up with you, just once, just once ever in my life."

Tessa was stunned, even more stunned when she herself led him over to his bed and lay down with him. Nothing but their fingertips touched, but that was enough to send sparks through her. She swallowed down the urge to be closer to him, forced herself to be content with his hand just barely making contact with hers. She could see it in his eyes as he stared at her lovingly, that he wanted her just as much she wanted him, but they both knew they had to use their restraint.

For how long they laid like that, Tessa did not know. She was only aware of herself growing tired and she was vaguely aware for Will breaking the silence to whisper to her, "Good night my love, my Tessa." And with that she fell into a deep slumber.

In the morning, she woke with a start. Her fingers explored the soft bedding as she searched for Will, but she did not find him. Instead she found a note with his elegant scrawl. Her eyes widened as she sat up and read his words to her,

_ "If no one cares for you at all, do you even really exist?" _

_ Beauty is harsh, Tessa, but it can love, just like I, and love you I do._


End file.
